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Normal Colored Bread/PartOne/BlurbSix

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Just then, a loud bell sounded. A robotic-sounding voice came from the intercom, blaring "ALL STUDENTS REPORT TO FIFTH PERIOD, ALL STUDENTS REPORT TO FIFTH PERIOD"

The three of us looked at each other as if we didn't know what the fuck was going on. "You guys should get to your fifth period classes," the Captain suggested, "I'll stay here and see what I can figure out about this place."

"I have biology fifth period," Sarah said. None of us liked biology.

Hanson retorted, "I hated biology. I barely passed it, too. Although you do get to dissect a pig at the end of the year. That part was fun. Chemistry's even worse, though. I can't get stoichiometry. Oh well... Hey, wait, Tanmuk and I have Air Force Junior ROTC fifth period!"

Sarah asked, "Why the hell does Subpar have an ROTC course anyway? It's not like this is the United States of America... or is it. Well, better get going!" She went to biology class.

"I forged this note that will hopefully get me out of doing anything vaguely related to the military," I told Hanson while holding up a piece of paper I pulled out of my pocket. "Of course, my parents will sign anything I tell them to, but I was bored so I taught myself how to forge my father's signature."

"Our Instructor, Major Prick, is, well, a major prick," said Hanson bitterly. "I don't even know if that signature will get you anywhere. You can try, though, I guess."

That said, I found myself presenting the note to a stiff, uptight military man, who barked at me, "NICE TRY, MAGGOT! GET INTO FORMATION WITH EVERYONE ELSE! FLIGHT, TENCH-HUT!" I got into the formation with everyone else, arms pinned to my sides, staring straight forward.

The military man turned to face us. "GOOD MORNING, LADIES! I'M MAJOR ALEXANDER PRICK, BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME SIR! GOT THAT?"

No one said anything.

"I'M WAITING!"

"Yes sir," came a very weak response.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Yes sir!" the formation shouted back at Major Prick, who was still unsatisfied.

While this was going on, a soft voice whispered to me, "Hi." I turned slightly (so as not to tip off Prick) to face a girl with brown hair standing next to me. There was something about this girl, but Prick's constant shouting distracted me too much for me to dwell on it. "I'm Mallory Tenor", she said breathlessly. "I'm a sophomore."

"I'm a newbie," I said. "My name is Nathan Tanmuk. I'm a freshman. It's nice to meet someone who's not overly weird."

Her soft voice grew quieter. "It's nice to meet you too. What do you think of Subpar so far?"

"This school is fucked up, to be honest," I replied. "Hey, you look beat up or something. What's wrong?"

A shocked expression came into her eyes, which were dazed enough to begin with. "Oh, nothing. I just woke up with blood all over me about an hour ago. Apparently I disappeared over the night and ended up in the gym in a puddle of blood. But it's all OK now! There's definitely no otherwordly conspiracy going on here at Subpar! Everything here's normal! Normal as uncolored bread!"

I stood there dumbfounded. "Are you trippin off acid or something, Mallory? Someone tried to kill you, and you act like everything is normal? What kind of insane maniac would write a story like this?!"

"No, I think I'm fine," Mallory replied, still staring at me with those eyes that look almost hypnotized. "There's definitely nothing weird about getting the shit beaten out of you in a gym at night. No, nothing wrong with that at all."

"Mallory -"

"Oh, there you are, Mallory!", an obnoxiously familiar voice yelped. We turned to see Hannah Donnelly coming up. "I'm going to take you to your next class! Isn't that wonderful?" She had this sickeningly jolly smile that was obviously artificial. "Who's that guy over there?" she asked, motioning towards me. Obviously she was hiding something, as we had met earlier at breakfast. What a bitch.

"This is Nathan Tanmuk," Mallory said, apparently under some kinda spell.

"Yeah, well, anyway, we have to go." Donnelly led Mallory to wherever her next class was.

I stood there, pondering. Obviously Donnelly was part of some massive conspiracy, and had brainwashed Mallory to follow her around all the time, even as she made an attempt on her life. Somehow this tied in with the CATS thing on Kappasphere. Was Donnelly one of the agents sent by CATS? Or was Donnelly simply a pawn of another?

"'Lo, Tanmuk. 'Sup?" Hanson came up and flashed a thumbs up in my face. I pushed it away. "I saw you talking while Prick was shouting at us. What was going on?"

"Oh," I replied. "Well, I met a girl who was beaten up in the gym." I lowered my voice in case CATS's spies were around us, which was highly unlikely (yet possible). "I think she was brainwashed. By Hannah Donnelly. I think she has something to do with CATS." We arranged to meet at the front of the building at seventh period. For some reason, they canceled seventh too. Maybe that had something to do with the conspiracy too.

I sat through sixth period listening to a professor talking about technology. Yawn. Engineering class was the pits. I spent the time pondering on the stuff I had absorbed so far. A holographic space captain had traveled through a dimensional rift to tell us to save his world... a cyborg named CATS had taken control of that world and was gunning for ours... we had somehow ended up with futuristic Izwzyzxian-style technology... our Student Council President (who was also involved in some way with this evil cyborg dude) had tried to murder a fellow student in cold blood... It made no fucking sense whatsoever.

The bell rang suddenly, relieving me of my train of thought. I picked up my backpack and rushed out to meet Sarah and Hanson. They were already out there, their presence made so much more sinister by the presence of dark lightning clouds above. We were scared shitless. I mean, we were dragged into some epic interdimensional battle we really should have no part of? What the fuck?

"Keith filled me in during Basic YTMND Design 101," Sarah whispered. "What do we do now?"

"We must find out about Donnelly's involvement in all this," I said grimly. "She is the key. Through her we can discover just how far CATS's conspiracy network goes. We must find out why she targeted Mallory. And we must do this all without her knowledge."

"But how, Nathan?", asked Sarah. "Can we trust anyone at Subpar?"

"Mallory," I replied. "She'll tell us anything. I mean, she's trippin off so much acid she can't be trusted to keep any secrets."


"Let's go get dinner," Hanson suggested. "I'm hungrier than Ugoff right now."

"You idiot," I teased, raising an eyebrow, "we have food in the dorm room."

"Yeah, I suppose so," he stammered. "Let's go see the Captain. He needs to know about all this."

That said, we proceeded to Pirate House. The Captain looked bored. He listened as he played with the nigritude ultramarine holographic projector.

"It seems, then," the Captain said, "that Mallory was targeted for a reason. Donnelly was made her roommate and acted as a spy to keep her in check, and acted when she recieved her orders. But who could be giving these orders...?"

"CATS?" I suggested.

"No, CATS wouldn't act directly through a seventeen-year-old girl. One of his lieutenants has to be here. Hm... Did you say Mallory was in a daze?"

"Daze?" I replied. "Daze? She completely lost her marbles!"

"She may have been put through a mind wipe," the Captain posited. "This would mean that CATS has given her mind technology. She may even possess a CATSian Mind Scanner, which would allow her to read minds."

"Read... minds?" I asked. "Does this mean...?"

"No," the Captain reassured us. "The nigritude ultramarine will repel such attempts to invade your brain. Rest assured, as long as you have me here, you are perfectly safe from CATSian mind haxorz."

"So that's why she's so suspicious of us!" Hanson exclaimed. "The nigritude ultramarine repels her Mind Scanner! She knows we possess tech from the future."

"Exactly," the Captain said. "She probably figured out that we're on the opposing team, too. She would have known if we were on CATS's side. There's something about Mallory too... maybe she possesses Izwzyzxian tech as well, and this worries CATS."

"But that brings us back to the question: Who is Hannah working for?" pondered the Captain.

(tbd)